People skills : how to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts / Robert Bolton.
By: Bolton, Robert [author].
Material type: BookPublisher: New York : Simon and Schuster, [1979]Copyright date: ©1979Description: xv, 300 pages : illustrations ; 21 cm.Content type: text Media type: computer Carrier type: online resourceISBN: 067162248X (paperback); 9780671622480 (paperback).Subject(s): Interpersonal relations | Interpersonal communicationAdditional physical formats: Electronic version: People skills : how to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts.DDC classification: 302.34 Also available in electronic form.Item type | Current library | Call number | Copy number | Status | Date due | Barcode | Item holds |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
General Lending | MTU Bishopstown Library Lending | 302.34 (Browse shelf(Opens below)) | 1 | Checked out | 22/02/2022 | 00107118 | |
General Lending | MTU Bishopstown Library Lending | 302.34 (Browse shelf(Opens below)) | 1 | Available | 00068193 |
Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:
Improve your personal and professional relationships instantly with this timeless guide to communication, listening skills, body language, and conflict resolution.
Maybe a wall of silent resentment has shut you off from someone you love. Maybe you listen to an argument in which neither party seems to hear the other. Or maybe your mind drifts to other matters when people talk to you. People Skills is a communication skills handbook that can help you eliminate these and other communication problems. Author Robert Bolton describes the twelve most common communication barriers, showing how these "roadblocks" damage relationships by increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness, or dependency. He explains how to acquire the ability to listen, assert yourself, resolve conflicts, and work out problems with others. These are skills that will help you communicate calmly, even in stressful emotionally charged situations.
People Skills will show you:
-How to get your needs met using simple assertion techniques
-How body language often speaks louder than words
-How to use silence as a valuable communication tool
-How to de-escalate family disputes, lovers' quarrels, and other heated arguments
Both thought-provoking and practical, People Skills is filled with workable ideas that you can use to improve your communication in meaningful ways, every day.
Includes bibliographical references (pages 280-295) and index.
Part one: Introduction -- Skills for bridging the interpersonal gap -- Barriers to communication -- Part two: Listening skills -- Listening is more than merely hearing -- Four skills of reflective listening -- Why reflective responses work -- Reading body language -- Improving your reflecting skills -- Part three: Assertion skills -- Three approaches to relationships -- Developing three-part assertion messages -- Handling the push-push back phenomenon -- Increasing your assertive options -- Part four: Conflict management skills -- Conflict prevention and control -- Handling the emotional components of conflict -- Collaborative problem solving: seeking an elegant solution -- Three essentials for effective communication -- Afterword: Four steps to improved communication.
CIT Module COUN 6003 - Core reading
CIT Module COUN 6004 - Core reading
CIT Module COUN 6010 - Core reading
CIT Module COUN 6011 - Core reading
CIT Module COUN 6012 - Core reading
CIT Module COUN 6013 - Core reading
CIT Module COUN 6014 - Core reading
Also available in electronic form.
Table of contents provided by Syndetics
- Preface (p. xiii)
- Part 1 Introduction (p. 1)
- Chapter 1 Skills for Bridging the Interpersonal Gap (p. 3)
- Communication: Humanity's Supreme Achievement (p. 4)
- The Ineffectiveness of Most Communication (p. 4)
- The Ache of Loneliness (p. 5)
- So Much Lost Love (p. 5)
- A Key to Success at Work (p. 7)
- A Life-or-Death Matter (p. 7)
- You Can Change (p. 8)
- You Will Change! (p. 10)
- Managing Your Resistance to Learning (p. 11)
- Five Sets of Skills (p. 12)
- Summary (p. 13)
- Chapter 2 Barriers to Communication (p. 14)
- Common Communication Spoilers (p. 15)
- Why Roadblocks Are High-Risk Responses (p. 16)
- Judging: the Major Roadblock (p. 17)
- Roadblock (p. 17)
- Sending Solutions Can Be a Problem! (p. 21)
- Avoiding the Other's Concerns (p. 23)
- Roadblock Number Thirteen (p. 25)
- Summary (p. 26)
- Part 2 Listening Skills (p. 27)
- Chapter 3 Listening Is More Than Merely Hearing (p. 29)
- The Importance of Listening (p. 30)
- Listening Defined (p. 32)
- Listening Skill Clusters (p. 32)
- Attending Skills (p. 33)
- Following Skills (p. 40)
- Summary (p. 48)
- Chapter 2 Four Skills of Reflective Listening (p. 49)
- Reflective Responses Provide a Mirror to the Speaker (p. 50)
- Paraphrasing (p. 51)
- Reflecting Feelings (p. 52)
- Reflecting Meanings (p. 57)
- Summary (p. 61)
- Chapter 5 Why Reflective Responses Work (p. 62)
- Style and Structure in Listening (p. 63)
- Six Peculiarities of Human Communication (p. 65)
- Skepticism Is Best Dissolved by Action (p. 75)
- Summary (p. 75)
- Chapter 6 Reading Body Language (p. 77)
- The Importance of Body Language (p. 78)
- Nonverbals: The Language of Feelings (p. 79)
- The "Leakage" of Masked Feelings (p. 80)
- Guidelines for Reading Body Language (p. 80)
- Reflect the Feelings Back to the Sender (p. 87)
- A Clear But Confusing Language (p. 87)
- Summary (p. 88)
- Chapter 7 Improving Your Reflecting Skills (p. 89)
- Guidelines for Improved Listening (p. 90)
- Beyond Reflective Listening (p. 100)
- When to Listen Reflectively (p. 106)
- When Not to Listen Reflectively (p. 109)
- The Good News and the Bad News (p. 111)
- Summary (p. 112)
- Part 3 Assertion Skills (p. 115)
- Chapter 8 Three Approaches to Relationships (p. 117)
- Listening and Assertion: The Yin and Yang of Communication (p. 118)
- Methods for Developing Assertiveness (p. 118)
- The Need to Protect One's Personal Space (p. 119)
- Impacting (p. 122)
- The Submission-Assertion-Aggression Continuum (p. 123)
- Payoffs and Penalties of Three Ways of Relating (p. 129)
- Choose for Yourself (p. 137)
- Summary (p. 138)
- Chapter 9 Developing Three-Part Assertion Messages (p. 139)
- Verbal Assertion: The Third Option (p. 140)
- Three-Part Assertion Messages (p. 141)
- Effective and Ineffective Ways of Confrontation (p. 143)
- Writing Three-Part Assertion Messages (p. 144)
- A Voyage of Self-Discovery and Growth (p. 156)
- Summary (p. 157)
- Chapter 10 Handling the Push-Push Back Phenomenon (p. 158)
- Suprise Attack (p. 159)
- The Human Tendency to Be Defensive (p. 160)
- The Upward Spiral of Increasing Defensiveness (p. 161)
- A Six-Step Assertion Process (p. 161)
- Summary (p. 175)
- Chapter 11 Increasing Your Assertive Options (p. 177)
- Many Varieties of Assertive Behavior (p. 178)
- "Natural" Assertions (p. 178)
- Self-Disclosure (p. 179)
- Descriptive Recognition (p. 181)
- Relationship Assertions (p. 184)
- Selective Inattention (p. 186)
- Withdrawal (p. 188)
- The Spectrum Response (p. 189)
- Options (p. 191)
- Natural and Logical Consequences (p. 191)
- Stop the Action; Accept the Feelings (p. 194)
- Say "No!" (p. 196)
- Modify the Environment (p. 200)
- The Danger of Going Overboard (p. 200)
- The Aura of Assertiveness (p. 201)
- Summary (p. 201)
- Part 4 Conflict Management Skills (p. 203)
- Chapter 12 Conflict Prevention and Control (p. 205)
- Conflict Is Unavoidable (p. 206)
- Conflict Is Disruptive and/or Destructive (p. 206)
- The Benefits of Conflict (p. 207)
- Realistic and Nonrealistic Conflict (p. 208)
- Personal Conflict Prevention and Control Methods (p. 210)
- Group/Organizational Prevention and Control Methods (p. 212)
- The Dangers of Conflict Prevention and Control (p. 215)
- Summary (p. 215)
- Chapter 13 Handling the Emotional Components of Conflict (p. 216)
- Focus on the Emotions First (p. 217)
- The Conflict Resolution Method (p. 218)
- The Conflict Resolution Method in Action (p. 222)
- Four Ways to Use the Conflict Resolution Method (p. 225)
- Preparation for the Encounter (p. 227)
- Evaluating the Conflict (p. 228)
- Expected Outcomes of the Conflict Resolution Method (p. 229)
- Summary (p. 231)
- Chapter 14 Collaborative Problem Solving: Seeking an Elegant Solution (p. 232)
- Three Kinds of Conflict (p. 233)
- Alternatives to Collaborative Problem Solving (p. 233)
- Seeking an Elegant Solution Through Collaborative Problem Solving (p. 238)
- Six Steps of the Collaborative Problem-Solving Method (p. 239)
- What This Problem-Solving Method Communicates (p. 248)
- Collaborative Problem-Solving in Action (p. 249)
- Handling the Crucial Preliminaries (p. 251)
- What Do I Do When Collaborative Problem Solving Doesn't Work? (p. 252)
- Applications of Collaborative Problem Solving (p. 254)
- Summary (p. 256)
- Chapter 15 Three Essentials for Effective Communication (p. 258)
- In Communication, Skills Alone Are Insufficient (p. 259)
- Genuineness (p. 259)
- Non-possessive Love (p. 262)
- Empathy (p. 269)
- Implementation of the Core Attitudes (p. 273)
- Afterword Four Steps to Improved Communication (p. 275)
- A Quantified Commitment to Use the Skills (p. 275)
- Select Appropriate Situations (p. 276)
- Undaunted by Occasional Failure (p. 277)
- Prepare Others for the Change (p. 277)
- Skill Training (p. 278)
- Notes (p. 280)
- Index (p. 297)